Much Needed Prayer

I sometimes have issues with my prayer life. The first problem I have is just sitting still and keeping my thoughts in the right direction. The minute I try to do an honest to goodness prayer, my mind starts twitching this way and that and I tend to lose focus rather quickly. The second issue I face is that I feel the Lord already knows my needs, and me reiterating it to Him seems redundant at times. I have the idea that He knows what I want, He will lead me as He sees fit, and me asking for a different outcome is just a waste of my breath. Especially if I am on board with whatever He sees fit for me. So, as you can see....I have built a wall around any productive, spiritual prayer life. Don't get me wrong....I seem to be in a constant conversation with Jesus. I feel like my casual prayer and constant communication with my Savior has helped me form an intimate relationship with Him that otherwise would have been more on the plains of Him up there and me down here. Instead, I almost always am aware of My Lord, Jesus, right with me....and I am very grateful for that. As with all people though, there are some issues that I want to lay at the hands of God and to do it in a respectful and asking nature. I know that prayer is something God asks of us, and it is something I am going to continue to work on.

That being said. There are very distinct prayers that I remember....vividly. They are so few, but they have been so powerful. And I had another yesterday. My mind has been working overtime lately. I have been desperately searching for an answer to a family issue from My Lord and, honestly, from myself. Desperately trying to ask for something I was not sure I was at liberty to ask for. I couldn't ever seem to get the prayer out. For a long time, it just hasn't been in me to give my prayer to God. Yesterday, I did. I prayed fervently about what I long for and what I want. I felt, once again, close to God and was able to form my thoughts for Him. Able to form my thoughts just for Him. Isn't that want prayer is supposed to be? The guilt that I usually feel about pushing my wants toward Him, was replaced with wisdom. I was wise, if only for that moment, to know that I could ask for this, knowing He will answer, and still plead for His will to be done. Sometimes I forget, that the main part of praying is KNOWING with all your heart He will answer it accordingly. If I pray for something and automatically doubt His activeness, it is abused. It is in faith we speak with the Lord. Through faith I know He loves me and will do what is best for my soul. And in this vein, I continue to pray.